The Zombie Strategist Guide to… Becoming the Archbishop of Canterbury

I think it’s time for the British public to start putting Zombies in power.

I mean sure, we mutter to ourselves, make weird creaking noises, shuffle round the place and smell slightly of wee, but nobody’s perfect, right?

As yet another member of the British Establishment’s Officer Class topples (“Archbishop of Canterbury resigns over Church abuse scandal” BBC News 12/11/24) – it might be worth asking if the country would be better served by people who were actually capable rather than just well connected.

Maybe even… whisper it… someone who didn’t go to Eton, work as a banker or even whose immediate family looked like an entry into who’s who.


There’s a lot of Zombies around – experienced, talented, over forty and still not quite dead. After the Post-Office, The Banking Industry and god knows what else is yet to come next, it has to be worth a try.

It’s time for the state to grab a shovel, take a deep breath and start exhuming some talent! You never know what you might dig up.

I mean, it’s not like there isn’t form… The Archbishop of Canterbury’s boss rose from the dead and he was pretty good.

Just saying.